“Uncle Feds!”

Uh oh…

Uncle Feds is the big fat fellow who crashes on your couch. He’s been there for years and years. He demands roasts and chops, devouring whatever he can find in your refrigerator. And when you’re out working long hours, Uncle Feds sits on the couch ordering pay-per-view movies.

He was plenty big before all that hope and change. But in the last two years, Uncle Feds has become so incredibly large that his bulk defies description.

And while he eats, you begin to realize that you don’t have enough cash to fix that hole in your shoe, let alone think about college tuition for the kids.

So one night at dinner, Uncle Feds brings up the subject of your family’s financial problems. In a rational, calm and hopeful voice, he tells you that yes, the economy is lousy, but that you must stop worrying.

“Don’t be angry,” says Uncle Feds with a mouthful of rare beef. “Don’t focus on your anger. Don’t worry about a darned thing. I’ve just solved all your cash shortage problems.”

Your wife gives you one of those startled looks.

“Uncle Feds!” she says, “Just what have you done?”

“Well, I’ve just taken out a second mortgage on your house,” says Uncle Feds. “Your cash-flow worries are over.”

Saga of Uncle Feds explains voter anger,” by John Kass, Chicago Tribune, October 15, 2010
 
 

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