You Have 2 Cows Archives

You have two cows – Congress

Here is a new “You have two cows….” CONGRESS: You have two cows. You milk them, drink the milk, then you borrow two buckets of milk from your neighbor, drink it all, give the two empty buckets to your grandkid and ask him to go fill them and give them back to your neighbor. For … Read more

You have two cows – Indianism

Here is a new “You have two cows….” INDIANISM: You have two cows, that you revere. But they end up in Bangladesh as steaks. So you outlaw cattle exports, announce a cow-licensing system and issue cows with photo IDs. Unfortunately, many conclude that India can not stop this illegal moogration because “beef is very delicious.” … Read more

You have two cows – additions from Patrick

Here are four new “You have two cows….” from Patrick in Woodinville, Washington DARWINISM: You have two cows. They develop opposable thumbs and milk you. DARWINISM (social): You have two cows. They evolve to a stronger species and exterminate all humans and lesser breeds of cow because they can’t produce as much milk. ALEXANDER POPE-ISM: … Read more

Communism and 2 cows…

COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk. COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can’t afford the milk. You wither away. COMMUNISM You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives … Read more

You have two cows – additions from Bill

Here are two new “You have two cows….” from Bill in Pittsburgh WIKIPEDIANISM: This cow is a heifer. You can help Wikipedia by milking it. WIKIPEDIANISM: These cows are temporarily protected from milking. Please resolve disputes on the talk page. Protection is not intended to express support of German or Polish cows. For more Two … Read more

You have two cows – additions from Hannah and Gen

Here are two new “You have two cows….” from Hannah and Gen in Australia AUSTRALIANISM: You have two cows. You take one to the beach and teach it to surf, then you bung the other one on the barbie, drink some VB, and laugh at the idea of a surfing cow. What’s a government? BITCHISM: … Read more

You have two cows – additions from Janne Tuukkanen

Here are two new “You have two cows….” from Janne Tuukkanen DRM: You have two cows. You sell both of them, but all the milk still belongs to you. INNOVATION: You have two cows. You patent “cow” and claim license fees from all the milk of the world. (All your milk are belong to us.) … Read more

You have two cows. The government….

We have a list of 2 cows at YouHave2Cows.com 2 samples … SIMPSONISM: Don’t have a cow man! SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?

World’s smartest cow – what if there were 2 of them?

“We’ve never seen such a friendly cow,” farmer friends kept telling me. True enough. When people enter the pasture, Elvis comes running up to greet them. The effect is rather like a building lifting off its foundations and charging down a hill: You just pray he can stop if he wants to. He sticks out … Read more

You Have Two Cows … Arab version

We recently added to our “You have two cows. The government….” page, by adding a slew of international definitions, most from the Arab world by way of “How Arabs deal with cows,” by Mahmood Al-Yousif, December 29, 2005 Some samples from our “Two Cows page: BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates … Read more